The On-Off Syndrome In Dating

 A problem I see my readers getting into with their
girlfriends all the time is that they keep breaking up and
getting together. It's not a uncommon for a reader to have
"broken up" with a woman six or seven times in the past.

 Needless to say, this sort of "on and off"
relationship is very unhealthy. It will literally drain the
energy out of both of you until the relationship is officially
dead.

 Not to mention, this type of relationship is usually
very hard to fix, because both parties have serious doubts
about the relationship already. So every time one party
tries to do something to fix the relationship, the other
party will get scared and "break up" in order to pull
away. At the same time, if neither of you try to rebuild
the intimacy, one of you will ALSO get annoyed and bored
and want to pull away. It's really a lose-lose situation.

 As time goes on, both of you will see breaking up
as a "solution" to every single problem. You may also
get addicted to the "emotional rush" of breaking up and
getting back together. Eventually, it may get so bad
that you may start getting into fights without any reason
just so you can have an excuse to break up again.

 So what's my solution for curing this kind of
relationship?

 It's quite simple.

 The next time you "break up", make it "real".
Cut contact and move on for at least 2 months. (This is
a VERY important step.)

 After that, date the person casually for at
least a month WITHOUT getting back into a relationship.

 When the month is over and things are still
going great, make a pact. Promise each other that
you will work on the relationship rather than breaking
up every time a problem arises. Let it be known
that if there's another breakup in the future, it will
a final breakup and you will both move on.